Hey.  <~~~~ Click there
A blast from the past BLOG ENTRY!!!! VERY FUNNY 😉
How long will it take for the “medication” to set in…. Cree’s Blog
People ask me all the time…. how do you stay so positive, and in such a good mood. First, I say, being a Christian is hard work. In my mind its do it, or die. I have to constantly remind the everyday people that I work with, that I haven’t always been this person. It took LOTS and LOTS of hard work…. not to mention many testimonies. My parents use to tell me daily you need to change your attitude!!! I didn’t realize that I was angry, until I moved out on my own and started experiencing my own trials. Looking back on those days, I don’t see how I even came up with the energy to be that way. Being mean is hard work. LOL It takes lots of facial muscles, angry thoughts, video footage that play daily in your mind of beating somebody up who disrespected you, to be this way. Its not cute, and I hope that if you are this person, you need to look in the mirror at yourself, and find out why are you this way. And ask God to help you change into the person he designed for you to be.
I often ask God why is it so hard to reach these young gurls that I minister to, and why do I have the passion to stress it so deeply? He said it because you were once that young gurl, and you know they have it in them to change, and that’s where my desire comes from the help them. Its really hard work, because you know that they hear you, but how long will it take for the “medication” to set in. When I see young gurls being fast, and giving their bodies to these boys/men, it does something to my heart. If I could give them a glimpse of their lives when they’re my age, they would pull up their panties and hot tail out of site. I wish that I had someone to talk to when I was their age, this is why its so important for me to reach them. Some will listen to me, some won’t. That’s okay, if I can reach that ‘some” I’m good.
I love the fact that I have so much patience with my gurls,, but none with adults. LOL How did that happen? I can go over something 2000 times with my gurls, but will only willing to go over something with an adult 2 times. One day this gurl came through my line, and I was asking her how many months she was, and when was her baby due. She told me that she was going to have an abortion. I turned off my light at my register, and talk to her so deeply. I told her that I had an abortion with I was 19 years old by my daughters dad, and that was the worst mistake that I ever made. I begged her to re- think about it, and it may seem as if times are hard, and they will be, I told her to ask and believe that God will be there to help her, to comfort her and to guide her. I cried, she cried I talked to this gurl till she and I both were blue in the face. She left the store.
I remember sitting in subway one day taking my break ( we have a subway in my store), and this gurl walked up to me, I didn’t recognize her as she walked towards me. She looked me dead in the eye and said….. Do you remember me? I said Ah….. boo I don’t. She said I’m the gurl who you talked into NOT having an abortion, here is my baby, OMG I LOST IT, I CRIED AND CRIED. The baby was almost 1 years old, she said that she’s so glad that I TALKED TO HER. And that she looks at her baby everyday and can’t believe that she even THOUGHT about aborting him. I hugged them both and just Thank God that he used me to do this. I am not ashamed of the things that I did in the past, I have asked God for forgiveness and is NEVER afraid of what anyone think of me. Ever. I refuse to go through stuff for free. Meaning, someone will learn from my mistakes, I will not be afraid to tell the story. There was a time when I wouldn’t tell a thing about my past. I am very private when it comes to me, but when it comes to my mistakes, I have no problem sharing.
This is one of the reason why I HATE secrets. Secrets have kept a lot of people from knowing the truth. People get so caught up in the fact that others will know what they did, they chose to hide it, and it end up coming out later and really hurting others.
Everyday I have this vision of living in this huge house in Atlanta, and 2-3 times a week we meet( My Raisingurls) and have our meetings ( at my home). Sometimes with their parents, but most time just me and my (a) co-heart. Its like I’m obsessed with this thought. I see us cooking in the kitchen, making cookies for the seniors, helping them grocery shop, me raising up Leaders for the next generation of young gurls. I see all kinds of breakthroughs in this vision. This will come to pass.
Be Blessed!
Understanding and Forgiveness goes hand in hand….Cree’s Blog
There is truly one thing that in order to move on from something is to ask God for understanding. I’m not saying that you accept the behavior of what you are asking God to help you understand. Try to understand the place in which what was done to you, came from. I hope that made sense. Let me give you an example of what I mean.
My dad come from a place where he had lots of brothers and sisters, and lots of cousins, uncles, aunts living under one roof. In order for him to eat dinner on any night, he had to BE in the house at the table when, dinner was done and ready to be served or he wouldn’t eat……because the food would be gone. The adults didn’t save food for the kids to eat, it was that if you were there, then you had a chance to eat. If you were outside playing, and you wasn’t hungry, then you take your chances as to if you were going to eat that night.
So…… when my dad married my mom and started a family, in our house, we ALWAYS had plenty of food. I can never think of a time when we went hungry, we NEVER had those days. All I remember was throwing out food at the end of the day, because we had too much. We would have so much food in the fridge, that we saved in bowls that after so long it had to be thrown in the garbage.
This type of behavior/mentality comes from the times when my dad was a kid, and went to bed hungry because there wasn’t enough food. He has told us plenty and many of times, that whenever he had a family that there would be plenty of food and that no one would go hungry. Well, my dad made good on that, because as I am 44 years old I can never remember going to be hungry. Never. As an adult I can UNDERSTAND where his mentality comes from when it comes to his children going to bed hungry.
I gave you an example of something that’s positive and through my fathers experience, it has allowed my family to never go hungry. Now, I’m going to give you a not so positive experience and example of UNDERSTANING the situation…. but NOT having to accept the behavior as your own.
When I was a young gurl in junior high, we use to always get our phone, lights and water cut off. I remember times when we had to go over to a family house to bathe until ours got turned back on. Having the phone disconnected was something I hated as a teen, and I made a promise to myself that I would NEVER go through that when I got grown and had a family. Did I understand why this was happening back then…..NO!!! But I do now understand that kind of mentality coming from how my mom and dad were both raised. Do I have to live that way?… HECKE NAW! LOL What I understand is that my dad came from a do or die family. He knew what it was like to go hungry, we didn’t. He knew what it was like to wear hand me downs, ….we didn’t. In my dad’s eyes, he looked at it this way…… our lights may be off today, but at least we have each other. Our lights are off today, but they will be back on next Monday, so in the meantime lets play games and talk to each other. We didn’t like that. I NOW UNDERSTAND where his strength to want to play games, and talk through the fact that our lights are off, IT’S BECAUSE he lived life much harder than we did.There were so many people living in one house, that all they had was each other even when they didnt have food to eat. In his mind it was bonding time…. but even today IN MY MIND….. THE LIGHTS WILL BE ON FOR THAT. LOL I don’t need my lights off to bond. But I Thank God, that I UNDERSTAND the mentality, BUT I WILL NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR live it, enjoy it, or desire to visit those days in my adult life. But I must say, it has taught me to pay my bills. I have the best credit when it comes to paying my bills. I try to pay off my bills when I get them and I get paid. I don’t ever want to look up and my services are being shut off, I have been through enough in my childhood days with that. I pay for my cell phone, 2 HOUSE PHONE NUMBERS, lights/gas, cable, Internet, and 6 CREDIT CARDS…YES 6. Just last month I called the cable company and told them that I would be late paying, she looked at my payment history and was like Ms. Walker, your history looks good. I was happy to hear that, so I HAVE TO look at my past and Thank God/parents for that, because what I’ve been through is NOT who I am today. I CHOSE TO BE POSITIVE, NOT TO DWELL ON THE PAST.
The big question…. am I upset with my parents about the conditions in which we as kids had to live? I use to be. Until I asked God for UNDERSTANDING. I needed to UNDERSTAND the place in which these types of conditions came from. Over the years, and I do mean years…… I had to go through my own experiences to UNDERSTAND how things could happen when you never planned them to be that way. Once God showed me that UNDERSTANDING had nothing to do with me ACCEPTING that way of LIFE for MYSELF…. then I was able to LIVE. Then I was able to FORGIVE. Understanding and Forgiveness GOES HAND IN HAND.
Investigated…..Cree’s Blog
.
…Thanking God for the Blessing to Bless others, Thanking him for supplying all of my needs. I’m just Blessed and I see it, I recognize it, I’m living it, and I appreciate it and I’m truly grateful. Thank you Jesus for loving me. My mommie gave me so many kisses and hugs for always taking care of her she said to me yesterday. She had surgery and has been off work for a couple of months. I love taking care of her, because she has always taken care of me. I would do anything for her, all she has to do is let me know. I take her for rides ( I love to drive), I take her to my aunts to visit her, to her appointments, and to her job, to take care of her personal business. She is a wonderful woman of God who loves others and especially her family.
Thanking God for more lessons that has been learned. I can blog about it now because the “investigation” on me has been done.
I was called into the office last week, and asked about someone using my discount card. The day after my BD I went to our other store instead of my store to shop. I bought all of my personal needs on my bill, which came up to $239.12…. before using my discount card. Then my daughter spent $73.06 for her items….before using my discount card ( because she’s in school and I claim her) Then I bought my food items which came to $47.26…. before using my discount card. I’m very friendly so I was talking and talking and talking to the cashier about everything. He was a young white guy, very friendly. I guess he felt I was being friendly so that I could throw him off from focusing on seeing that my daughter was using my discount card. Little did he know that she’s eligible to use it.
On Monday of this week, I was called into the office and asked did I do some shopping at the other store. It caught me totally off guard, there was also another manager in there, and they were waiting for me to respond. My mouth became dry, and when she reached for my badge, I was like wait a minute……. let me think. I remembered that me, my mom and neisha were at the check out counter, I then was asked, who is the person who used the debit card? I couldn’t think for the life of me. LOL I’m like shoo I dunno, that was the week before. I was told that the cashier noticed that I let a gurl use my card, and they wanted to know who she was. Just then I remember that it was Neisha. I swiped the discount card myself, because personal I don’t like anyone to swipe it but me. My mom didn’t buy anything, so it was me and Neisha who use it. OnceI remembered……I let lose. I said… “No one used my card that was my daughter, she knew that I was telling the truth”…. “she gave” my badge back to me, and told me that they would review the tape to see more. I’m pissed about it, how the whole thing went down, but at the same time its like……go and find out what happened, you shouldn’t have came to me with this anyway if you haven’t done a full investigation on me!!! I LEFT the office, and went home in a daze and crazy headache. I don’t like trouble, I don’t drama, and this investigation was going to linger I knew.
I went home gathered up all 3 of my receipts and whenever you use a debit card or credit card, the last 4 digits will appear on the receipt. The very next day I went to work and produced all 3 receipts, and my daughter’s debit card proving her name on the card and proving the last 4 digits matching the receipt. But the person I needed to see didn’t come in until today 9/17/11.
 This morning, I went straight to her, she likes to prolong business, and will have you waiting till its time for you to punch out for the day. Not today I wasn’t hardly going to play that game. Before I even went to my post, I went to her and said….Lets Talk! She already knew how serious I was, and I wasnt about to let another day, or mintue, pass without having this discussion. She had the case ready for me as she investigated, and had the taped reviewed.  I, on the other hand had my receipts, W-2 form, and the debit card in question. She started off saying…..there were 3 transactions. I said yes it was…. and here they are. I said look at the times so that you can see which transaction was first , and match up the dates. I said I rung up first….she said yesssssss. I was on camera first, ( which told me she knew more today, than she knew the day she confronted me about it) . Then she asked who used the debit card, this person was second, and this is the person in question. I said my daughter, and here is her debit card WITH HER NAME ON IT, ending in the last 4 digits on the receipt. Then she says……who is the older lady that was with you. I said my mom….SHE DIDNT PURCHASE ANYTHING….. ( in other words……DONT EVEN MENTION HER AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! PERIOD!!!!!!! NOTHING!!!!!!!! After a few minutes of looking at the receipts, she said alright….and that was it.
People make sure you keep all of your receipts, or anything that you will need to prove that you own something, that you purchased something, that you received something. I don’t care if it seems as if you don’t need to keep it, KEEP IT!!! Always have your proof, just in case you need to declare. When you’re being investigated, don’t try to see what they know, let them ask you questions. Don’t go off volunteering information, let the question be asked, use less words as possible when answering. If they have cameras……let them use it. Then answer questions based off what is there….and what you are asked. Don’t explain anything….let them pull teeth with no medication.
Another reason, why I was kinda mad at myself is because when we first walked up to the register…Neisha turned to me and said out of the blue…Ma.. lets just pay for our order and leave, don’t be talking to the cashier like you always do. Don’t be so friendly all the time. And what I do, soon as we get to the register, I start talking, and blah blah blah…
A lesson learned…… And that’s one thing that I love about myself…. I can fall back…..and all the way back. I’m about to be straight up business minded. No more talking, no more being friendly ( in that way…please don’t take this the wrong way). I’m always meeting people, and they always run their mouth against me, and when I HAVE NOTHING to do with them anymore……I’m acting funny. So what!!!! I’m done. All in person conversations will be cut to a minimum. If its not the ones I meet and befriend that’s being jealous, its the ones I meet in passing. Thinking you’re having a “grown-up” conversation with someone, and they find a way to make it their own. Either to get information so that they can use it for their personal gain, or its to make you get in trouble and make you look bad. Well those days are over, that’s it. It’s doing me more harm than anything. LOL But you know what’s so amazing…. God protects me. Sometimes I feel like a 2 year old rubbing the head of a Lion who is hungry and haven’t eaten in days, TRUSTING that he likes me and he enjoys my company….. when in reality JUST LIKE THE PEOPLE I MEET, he wants me for his personal gain. God always wire me up, because he knows my heart and he knows I mean well in all contact with people. Its a shame what people would do for a higher position in a company, and a man……….. THEY WILL NEVERRRRRRRRRRÂ HAVE/GET/SEE!!!
The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
Cree’s Ramblings …..Cree’s Blog
So, this lady came through my line today, she lets out this *dangerous cough….* I roll my eyes to the sky and leave them there for 30 minutes *( seem like), jumped back a half mile * sarcastically* and says to the lady….. in my nicest voice….”ma’am ….you- gotta- cover- your- mouth”… then she says ” that’s not a cold its bronchitis”….* blank stare up to God*. Then the customers BEHIND her says * even more sarcastically than I did* …”Oh you just cover you mouth if you have Tuberculosis? “…..LOL Classic…. I couldn’t have said it better.
I’m 44 years old now, and like Mr. Perry said….. its the new 30. Baby, he said a mouthful cause I LOVE BEING 44. I feel good!!!! LOL. I’m so glad I’m not in my 20’s anymore, I would never fit in with them. Its all about how you feel, how you look at life, how you deal with things, how you think, and how you react. Thank you Lord, that I am no where how I use to be. It comes a time when you grow up!
For the last week or so, I’ve been working mornings, and I noticed that so many women, especially the ones who are a few years older, they are always coming in with attitudes… Like how do you wake up in the morning with an attitude? Dang, the day hasn’t even started yet? The issues of the day haven’t begun to find you……..is that last nights anger you are carrying? Like for real. Then, I have those who are borderline “angry” they say to me, “you’re so cheerful in the mornings”…..Um yeaaaaaa, like how are you suppose to start off a day, YOU HAVENT EVEN SEEN YET”…. with an attitude….Owww Thank So!! You just met this day, how can you wake up, go out into the world and transfer that “ratchet” spirit to another person. Well, I’m not her, God makes me smile every morning, and if you want to come through my line, you’ll get smiles, peace, blessing, laughs, and a short conversation. I be DAMNED… If I change my attitude in the morning, cause the next person is not feeling so great.
I see myself in Atlanta with my Teens. I never wanted to have a *building*where you go. ….lock up for the night…..that’s corny to me. I see MY home as this place,. Its so nice and huge with bedrooms for them. I see myself with all my gurls in the kitchen making cupcakes, baking and cooking for the homeless and seniors. I see it so clearly, I feel as if I’m in this kitchen. I see myself cooking and talking to them as they help out, then all of a sudden I start to cry because what I see myself doing today Sep 14, 2011, is what I always wanted to do. Everyday, I see this. Having a *building* is NOT personal to me, its so *rehearsed*. I see myself sitting on this long couch that goes into this never ending circle * I have to see everyone’s eyes* , and we’re all sitting around with our shoes off, snacks on the table, just having a full chat talking about everything in life, me asking them a thousand questions * as I always do*. There is not a day that pass me by that I don’t think about it. I know this is what God has called me to do. I only wish I knew what kinda chip God planted in me, that makes all the teenagers and kids have a connection to me. They stare at me * its so funny*…. I can read their every thoughts. They want to connect with me when they do that, but since I’m an adult, they wonder if that’s “okay”. LOL LOL See, adults don’t talk to kids as we should, we look at them as “kids”, instead of people, and kids want to come in our world. They are so trained that * this is grown’s folks business*… and that’s cool too. But, kids are people too, and I let them know, that I see them, I hear them, I recognize their pain, their concerns, their issues, their questions. I will move to Atlanta and I will use my home as a healing balm for every teen that God sends my way.
Well, I’m off to bed.
Loyality means A LOT!
There is one thing that I LOVE about LIFE…. and that’s everyday I LEARN something new.
I had a wonderful Birthday and I shared it with my one and only child, because it was her BD as well. We went shopping, and later on my sister called my family over to her house and we had ice cream and cake.We had fun.. Thank you Jesus for that wonderful day. Well, I least I have $100.00 left. 🙂
I have a hard time dealing with people who put off YOUR business, and the things that you have to take care of. I went to my store manager yesterday with a PEN, so that he could okay my schedule change, after he asked me several questions he told me to find him “later” so that he could sign it for me. *blank stare*. Now if you know me, I don’t like to keep asking, or constantly chasing folks down to take care of MY business.If you’re here right now, dayum just do it!!! I went back to my register and couldn’t stop thinking about that. He’s a very good manager, great communicating skills, great listener, he asks questions, he’s a great guy, but not only HE, but a lot of MEN like to keep putting things off. I just don’t get that. My daddy use to do the same thing. OMG That use to make me so mad. If I’d say daddy, can you drop us off at the mall about 3, he’ll say yea……. but why can’t you go tomorrow? That BURNS ME UP!!!
If your decision is connected to someone, why would you purposely make them deal with it tomorrow, rather so today? Why do everything has to be “LATER” or “NOT RIGHT NOW”? I don’t get that. Getting back to my story….. later on that day just before it was time for me to leave, I said let me go and find him so that he can sign his name to this paper. I ask this other manager was he in the office…. he says “he’s in a conference call” is there anything I can do? Now that sounds so nice and so considerate of him to ask that right? NO! If I was asking a question about a customer, he would ask me “where is your immediate supervisor? But since I want to speak to someone “higher” than he is, he wants to offer help. Man, I’ll tell you. LOL So, I had to go home and watch my business being put off another day. But just before that….. my manager came to me for the 2nd time in 2 weeks, told me it was time for my yearly evaluation and asked what time did I get off. I told her 4 . She says okay….. well I want to see you before you leave. Now, see that’s an open invitation. She didn’t give me a time, she wanted me to get off at 4, and hunt her down through the whole store and be there after 5. NAH Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn NOT THATGURLTHEYCALLCREE!!! Without giving it any thought at that time, I said okay! ( as I’m always kind and submissive to my managers and coworkers) Then as time was passing, I thought about it, I told my immediate manager to page her and ask her what time did she want to meet with me, she said @ 4. I said NAHHH UNNN, I leave at 4 and I have to be gone!!! She said okay 10 minutes to 4. So, time came for me to meet her, I’m praying and asking God to please fix my facial expression, I’m not a Fake person, and my face tells everything my mouth wont say .I’m upset with my store manager, and now HER. I’m walking slow trying to make sure I don’t go to her with a negative attitude. I don’t like that, and I’m doing everything in my power to have a reason to smile. But I can’t help but think about my manager and him putting me/us off, and her postponing this evaluation for weeks and weeks. I walked into her office , and instantly my face smile. So, Praise God for that.
People, stop putting off stuff when it concerns others. If you do this to yourself, that’s fine, that’s cool, its okay. But when you are dealing with others, that’s so un cool. Take care of your business with them. and when you really need business taken care of they will remember and do it for you.See, I know how to apply pressure. You don’t want to go there with me, I will make you sign my papers that’s not due till the year 2014, tryna hold my business up. I will pressure you for real. I don’t like to do that, because it should never go that far, but I’ll teach you a lesson in business. Take care of MINES!!!
I went to the nail shop to get my nails done by the owner ( Asians) his name is John, and his wife is Amy. He’s been doing my nails FAITHFULLY for over 12 years. I don’t let ANYONE else do my nails. EVER. And after I finish with him, I’ll  go to his wife Amy’s booth to get my brows. Now I have told her several times, if you are too busy FINE, COOL, I’ll come back later or the next day, don’t be referring me to somebody else in the shop.*rolls eyes*. So, Saturday me and Neisha went to get our nails and brows done, when I walked in Amy was happy to see me, and so were the other ladies who work there. I said hey Amy where is John? She said he’s gone home. So, I’m like is he coming back today? They all started laughing and said …naw he went back to our country for a month. LOL WE started laughing, so she said sit down, we can do your nails and brow. I gave her this look ( Nesha be bout to die laughing when I do it) . I said gurlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, I’ll be back in a month for John to do my nails. LOL They laughed. ( I was serious.) She was very busy doing nails, and had people waiting for her, so I had this look in my face as if to say…. I’ll come back tomorrow. Then she says…… pointing to one of the other ladies from her country … she can do your brows. I gave her this look, like GURLLLLLLLLLLLL, DONT BE REFERRING ME TO ONE OF YOUR *on stand by* GOONS TO DO MY BROWS….IS YA CRAZY? I see Imma have to pull Ms. Amy to da side about my nails and brows….. NOBODY does them , only her or her husband. * side eyeing* I dont let anybody pamper me.
Gotta give a shout out to my HAIR DOCTOR JANINE!!!! She has been doing my hair for 20 years!!!! I have ( cheated) on her ONE TIME, and that was because someone wanted to experiment on my head. No one has everrrrrrrrrr done my hair except her. I’m so proud of her and her song writting abilities!!! When I would go over to her house she would talk about how she likes to write music, and model. We would go to karaoke together and have fun. The gurl can write and sing. I am just so proud of her and her modeling, videos, voice overs and all. I watched both of her kids grow up and I’m so proud of her, cant wait till she blows up!!!
So, the lesson I learned in the past weeks, is that I’m loyal. I like to take care of BUSINESS, AND to those who know me, they know I do my best to be a good friend. When I do wrong or wrong them, they tell me. I listen and take care of the situation. Thank you Lord!
All MY BIRTHDAY WISHES!!! SO SPECIAL 9/3
| Julie Morgan posted on your Wall. |
| “Happy Birthday, didn’t get a chance to say good bye but I’m not gone.” |
| Isaiah D. Lester posted on your Wall. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
“Happy Birthday Cre!!!!”
Rose Hicks commented on your
status. Rose wrote: “Sorry I’m late but
better late than never. Stay blessed for you are deserving. I know you had lots of fun!”
|
Feed up…Cree’s Blog
 Guess I’ll ramble in this blog entry. My daddy gives me a headache.. he is never satisfied. No matter what I do for him, it is never enough. Maybe that’s why I’m so grateful about every little thing, because I see that he isn’t. You have to want to change, but if you don’t see anything wrong, why change? Sometimes, I wonder if that’s why I want to move to Atlanta to get away and live my life. I just want to be alone, nesha is grown working, going to school. I don’t have any grandkids, I just want to work, travel, and be alone. I wonder am I being selfish when I say this. Here I am talking about moving and here comes 3-4 more people wanting to move too ( when I move) . DAM! You can’t even tell a story of a new beginning FOR YOUR LIFE, without people wanting to be apart of it. I’m moving to Atlanta SELFISH. I want to be by myself. I’m sick of people wanting to “do what I do, or have what I have”. do your own thang. I’m so irratated right now, I don’t know what to do. My head is aching, tears are falling from my eyes, and I’m just fed up. I’m about to go and talk to God.
The PROCESS……CREES BLOG
The Process…….
I talk to God a lot, a whole lot and when there are things that I just don’t understand, I have to go over it, again, and again and again with him. That’s just how I am. My family and friends would say that I’m the same way with them. I don’t get upset that I don’t get it and have to keep asking questions, I just need to understand, and even though others get upset with me, God doesn’t. And that’s all that matters.
As I was sending out emails to remind those who signed up to donate for my Feeding the Homeless Project, I got this feeling that there would be a few people who wouldn’t be able to go through with their items…..for whatever reasons. Now, if you know me, you’ll know that I’m not upset, angry, or anything, I’ll just hop in my car and go out and get what I’m missing. No questions asked, LESSONS LEARNED FOR SURE, but I will never take it personal, get upset, or angry. So, as the days are winding down, I had everything I needed, except a few packs of bologna and cheese that this person promise to buy. Now, I’m the kinda person who wants extra of everything, I hate to run out of the things I need, especially when doing something on this scale. I want my people to eat good, have plenty, and I want things done decently and in order.
The Process…..
The evening before we went to pass out lunches… I wanted so bad to go out and buy more bread, Bologna, and cheese that items that I counted on this person to bring. But I heard God loud and clear say “No”. I said well the other gurl didn’t call or anything, and we need these things. God said “No”. He said La’ Crease you always want to go ahead and do something, he said if I wanted you to do this alone, I would have had you to do it without asking others. So, at that point I’m like okay …… He still said “No”, and I knew it. I will not go out and do it anyway. I know he would have been mad at me, because I’m standing there hearing him loud and clear. See, in my eyes…I’m like okay, I can jump in my car right quick, go pick up the things I need and that’s it. Simple. But see God is trying to get me to trust others, and that everything will be just fine with or without those items. Somewhere in the back of mind, I always have a PLAN B, for anything that I set my mind to do. I never want to be “out there” where I don’t have enough.
So, I questioned God and asked him….why do I do that? “He said when you ask me, you always ask as if you’re a little girl”. That’s why you’re not getting it.I’m a grown woman, asking God questions in a childs voice, but receiving a grown womans response. So, just then I PICTURED IT…… JUST AS I ASKED…. I can see myself knee high with a white dress on, no older than 3 years old tapping God on the leg with this concerned look on my face……pointing saying….. “Okay God why can’t I just hop in my car and go get the rest of the items from the store? I have the money, I have a car, its just down the street…. just let me go get it. Just then I got it. You know how a kid ask their mom for some chips that’s on the refrigerator? And she says….. No not right now, you can have the ones in the bedroom. But the kid says…… but the chips are right here. I can just get them and I wont have to go in the bedroom to get those. Its like saying, you already said I can have some, but why I gotta wait and get the ones out of the room, when these are right here. LOL And sometimes parents don’t always explain why they do this over that, or why they chose that child to do something over the other. There is a reason to everything, and we don’t always have to know why at that time.
So, the morning of going out, my friend Ms. Gloria knocked on my door about 9:35 AM. She’s always on time, and always prepared to work. I still had this “crazy desire” to go and buy more bread, cheese and bologna. I know, I know…. I can feel God looking at me saying. gurllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll if you go out that doe ( door) !!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL I love him. He is so funny. That thought never crossed my mind again. LOL Let me tell you…… We had SO MUCH BOLONGA THAT WE DIDNT USE ALL THE 8 PACKS OF MEAT… ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WE HAD SO MUCH MEAT LEFT OVER, THAT WE STARTED PUTTING 3 MEATS ON ONE SANDWICH. LOL LOL LOL GOD KNOW HE SHOWS OUT. LOL LOL I was sitting there like OMG…… God knew all the time. What I learned that God knows what he’s doing. He knew that I wanted to go out and buy more more, more, when all the time he was telling me that we had enough. No matter if the lady had came or not. We had enough. Most sandwiches had 2 slices of meat, but at the end we had met our goal and so we started putting 3 pieces of meat on one sandwich. SMH @ myself.
I learned that I have to relax and calm down. Man, I had my hands on the car keys, purse and everything, I will run to the store in a heartbeat. But we had enough and that’s what God was saying to me. I’m happy that I didn’t leave that house to go and buy more food anyway. I did what he told me, AND met my goal of 60 sandwiches. I’m happy.
Last year Tyler Perry was here in Detroit with his stage play Madea’s Big Happy Family, and as I was sitting (alone) in the 4th row from the stage, I kept asking God why can’t I meet Tyler, he’s right there, foot steps away from me after the show? God said loud and clear, “NOT NOW”…. So, I’m like but he’s right there ( pointing to the stage and how close I was too it). God said “No, not now”. Again, I was asking God from a little girls view, tapping him on the knee speaking in my little girls voice, asking just as a little girl would do. And that’s why I wasn’t getting it. If he’s right there, why can’t I meet him? All I want to do is take a photo, talk for about 15 minutes and be on my way. It doesn’t matter if he’s “right there”, or if I want to “talk for a few minutes”…. the answer is still NO. So, now I get it. Just as the kid want the chips, just as I wanted the bologna….. and just as I want to meet Tyler Perry. The answer is still ….”Not now”. And coming from God ( my daddy) that’s his final answer …..for NOW. *wink*
God has shown me time and time again that yes, I have people in my life who will loan me money, give me money, help me out when I need it, give me a ride if I ever need it, if I ever went into the hospital, things would still be taken care of, But he wants to show me that its okay to go through the process and wait on him. He can close all those doors that I have access too, I know that…but he wants me to trust him. Boy, I tell you, there are some days when I say…. okay God take care of that for me, take care of him/her, or I’m going to let you handle that situation. And then I have days when I say… okay God let me carry those 2 bags of bricks????? What’s up with me? LOL That’s why I’m so glad that God understands me and he loves me and he speaks my language. I don’t care who doesn’t get me, or if I ask to many questions, God made me, he loves me , he listens to me, he understands me.
I found this piece on line…….very interesting. Read below.
The Power of God’s Patience. Exercise God’s patience. In Hebrews 10:36 For you have need of patience, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.. What will of God, you may ask? After you have served in faithfulness, after you have received the Word with gladness, after you sought his presence, after you have yielded to his preparation and pruning, then there’s patience. Can I tell you another story? Many times in my Christian walk, God has said wait. I can’t say that I have always understood the why of wait. But I can tell you each time God asked me to wait, after a little time it becomes clear it has been well worth the wait.
For more reading.. http://www.armorbearers.net/blogs/serve-going-through-the-process-to-the-next-level.html
Be Blessed!!
Beyonce and JayZ ……Cree’s Blog
Today isSunday!!!
Its been a wonderful
week. I got off work yesterday ( Saturday) and went to the movies to see The
Help. My family were looking for me ( he he he), I didn’t tell them where I was
because they felt I should have asked them to go. LOL But sometimes I like to
just get up and go, not call and ask folks to go with me, not tell someone to
meet me there, I enjoy SOLOS…and that’s what I did. (sneaky
smile)
week. I got off work yesterday ( Saturday) and went to the movies to see The
Help. My family were looking for me ( he he he), I didn’t tell them where I was
because they felt I should have asked them to go. LOL But sometimes I like to
just get up and go, not call and ask folks to go with me, not tell someone to
meet me there, I enjoy SOLOS…and that’s what I did. (sneaky
smile)
It was a great movie.
I’m not on blood pressure pills, but there were some parts in the movie that had
me wanting to take several to bring me back. LOLÂ when my leg gets to jumping, I
have to think of words and beautiful places to calm my atmosphere. I love to
see my black people on the screen, I can always relate to them. I love a actress
who can speak with her eyes……Octavia Spencer she is a great actress, and I
hope to see her again on the screen. IÂ really loved her character, she reminds
me so much of myself, her personality. I really enjoyed watching her come to
life. Great film, you all should all see it.
I’m not on blood pressure pills, but there were some parts in the movie that had
me wanting to take several to bring me back. LOLÂ when my leg gets to jumping, I
have to think of words and beautiful places to calm my atmosphere. I love to
see my black people on the screen, I can always relate to them. I love a actress
who can speak with her eyes……Octavia Spencer she is a great actress, and I
hope to see her again on the screen. IÂ really loved her character, she reminds
me so much of myself, her personality. I really enjoyed watching her come to
life. Great film, you all should all see it.
I was watching the VMA’s
and I’m so happy that Beyonce and JayZ is having a baby!!!! I’m going to finally
be a grandmother. LOL I Love her and is so happy that she is thinking about
husband and herself . Some celebrities think about pleasing their fans, and
even if they want families they don’t take the time to make it happen. Maybe
they want to continue to be #1. Then you have some who “don’t want people in
their business”…. so what, they’re going to be in the business with or without
a baby. Some hid their marriages from the public, they fight and argue, divorce
and move on. If I was to ever marry a celebrity ( which I would NEVER in my LIFE
DO) EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR even think about it, he won’t keep my marriage status
quiet. I can’t live life like that, they gotta sneak, hide, whisper, and
dodge the press. Who wants that mess and drama queen life. You can make your
life private.. I’m very private… and just because I share what the next person
WONT, doesn’t mean a thing. Trust me there are things inside me, that is
PRIVATE. LOL LOL So just because I share something that is HUGE to you, don’t
mean that you know all there is to know. I’ll never run out of private LIFE
STORIES. Anyway….so happy for B and J.
and I’m so happy that Beyonce and JayZ is having a baby!!!! I’m going to finally
be a grandmother. LOL I Love her and is so happy that she is thinking about
husband and herself . Some celebrities think about pleasing their fans, and
even if they want families they don’t take the time to make it happen. Maybe
they want to continue to be #1. Then you have some who “don’t want people in
their business”…. so what, they’re going to be in the business with or without
a baby. Some hid their marriages from the public, they fight and argue, divorce
and move on. If I was to ever marry a celebrity ( which I would NEVER in my LIFE
DO) EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR even think about it, he won’t keep my marriage status
quiet. I can’t live life like that, they gotta sneak, hide, whisper, and
dodge the press. Who wants that mess and drama queen life. You can make your
life private.. I’m very private… and just because I share what the next person
WONT, doesn’t mean a thing. Trust me there are things inside me, that is
PRIVATE. LOL LOL So just because I share something that is HUGE to you, don’t
mean that you know all there is to know. I’ll never run out of private LIFE
STORIES. Anyway….so happy for B and J.
Night
Inside the mind of cree 