Guess I’ll ramble in this blog entry. My daddy gives me a headache.. he is never satisfied. No matter what I do for him, it is never enough. Maybe that’s why I’m so grateful about every little thing, because I see that he isn’t. You have to want to change, but if you don’t see anything wrong, why change? Sometimes, I wonder if that’s why I want to move to Atlanta to get away and live my life. I just want to be alone, nesha is grown working, going to school. I don’t have any grandkids, I just want to work, travel, and be alone. I wonder am I being selfish when I say this. Here I am talking about moving and here comes 3-4 more people wanting to move too ( when I move) . DAM! You can’t even tell a story of a new beginning  FOR YOUR LIFE, without people wanting to be apart of it. I’m moving to Atlanta SELFISH. I want to be by myself. I’m sick of people wanting to “do what I do, or have what I have”. do your own thang. I’m so irratated right now, I don’t know what to do. My head is aching, tears are falling from my eyes, and I’m just fed up. I’m about to go and talk to God.

The Process…….

I talk to God a lot, a whole lot and when there are things that I just don’t understand, I have to go over it, again, and again and again with him. That’s just how I am. My family and friends would say that I’m the same way with them. I don’t get upset that I don’t get it and have to keep asking questions, I just need to understand, and even though others get upset with me, God doesn’t. And that’s all that matters.

As I was sending out emails to remind those who signed up to donate for my Feeding the Homeless Project, I got this feeling that there would be a few people who wouldn’t be able to go through with their items…..for whatever reasons. Now, if you know me, you’ll know that I’m not upset, angry, or anything, I’ll just hop in my car and go out and get what I’m missing. No questions asked, LESSONS LEARNED FOR SURE, but I will never take it personal, get upset,  or angry. So, as the days are winding down, I had everything I needed, except a few packs of bologna and cheese that this person promise to buy. Now, I’m the kinda person who wants extra of everything, I hate to run out of the things I need, especially when doing something on this scale. I want my people to eat good, have plenty, and I want things done decently and in order.

The Process…..

The evening before we went to pass out lunches… I wanted so bad to go out and buy more bread, Bologna, and cheese that items that I counted on this person to bring. But I heard God loud and clear say “No”. I said well the other gurl didn’t call or anything, and we need these things. God said “No”. He said La’ Crease you always want to go ahead and do something, he said if I wanted you to do this alone, I would have had you to do it without asking others. So, at that point I’m like okay …… He still said “No”, and I knew it. I will not go out and do it anyway. I know he would have been mad at me, because I’m standing there hearing him loud and clear. See, in my eyes…I’m like okay, I can jump in my car right quick, go pick up the things I need and that’s it. Simple. But see God is trying to get me to trust others, and that everything will be just fine with or without those items. Somewhere in the back of mind, I always have a PLAN B, for anything that I set my mind to do. I never want to be “out there” where I don’t have enough.

So, I questioned God and asked him….why do I do that? “He said when you ask me, you always ask as if you’re a little girl”. That’s why you’re not getting it.I’m a grown woman, asking God questions in a childs voice, but receiving a grown womans response. So, just then I PICTURED IT…… JUST AS I ASKED…. I can see myself knee high with a white dress on, no older than 3 years old  tapping God on the leg with this concerned look on my face……pointing saying….. “Okay God why can’t I just hop in my car and go get the rest of the items from the store? I have the money, I have a car, its just down the street…. just let me go get it. Just then I got it. You know how a kid ask their mom for some chips that’s on the refrigerator? And she says….. No not right now, you can have the ones in the bedroom. But the kid says…… but the chips are right here. I can just get them and I wont have to go in the bedroom to get those. Its like saying, you already said I can have some, but why I gotta wait and get the ones out of the room, when these are right here. LOL And sometimes parents don’t always explain why they do this over that, or why they chose that child to do something over the other. There is a reason to everything, and we don’t always have to know why at that time.

So, the morning of going out, my friend Ms. Gloria knocked on my door about 9:35 AM. She’s always on time, and always prepared to work. I still had this “crazy desire” to go and buy more bread, cheese and bologna. I know, I know…. I can feel God looking at me saying. gurllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll if you go out that doe ( door) !!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL I love him. He is so funny. That thought never crossed my mind again. LOL Let me tell you…… We had SO MUCH BOLONGA THAT WE DIDNT USE ALL THE 8 PACKS OF MEAT… ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WE HAD SO MUCH MEAT LEFT OVER, THAT WE STARTED PUTTING 3 MEATS ON ONE SANDWICH. LOL LOL LOL GOD KNOW HE SHOWS OUT. LOL LOL I was sitting there like OMG…… God knew all the time. What I learned that God knows what he’s doing. He knew that I wanted to go out and buy more more, more, when all the time he was telling me that we had enough. No matter if the lady had came or not. We had enough. Most sandwiches had 2 slices of meat, but at the end we had met our goal and so we started putting 3 pieces of meat on one sandwich. SMH @ myself.

I learned that I have to relax and calm down. Man, I had my hands on the car keys, purse and everything, I will run to the store in a heartbeat. But we had enough and that’s what God was saying to me. I’m happy that I didn’t leave that house to go and buy more food anyway. I did what he told me,  AND met my goal of 60 sandwiches. I’m happy.

Last year Tyler Perry was here in Detroit with his stage play Madea’s Big Happy Family, and as I was sitting (alone) in the 4th row from the stage, I kept asking God why can’t I meet Tyler, he’s right there, foot steps away from me after the show? God said loud and clear, “NOT NOW”…. So, I’m like but he’s right there ( pointing to the stage and how close I was too it). God said “No, not now”. Again, I was asking God from a little girls view, tapping him on the knee speaking in my little girls voice, asking just as a little girl would do. And that’s why I wasn’t getting it. If he’s right there, why can’t I meet him? All I want to do is take a photo, talk for about 15 minutes and be on my way. It doesn’t matter if he’s “right there”, or if I want to “talk for a few minutes”…. the answer is still NO. So, now I get it. Just as the kid want the chips, just as I wanted the bologna….. and just as I want to meet Tyler Perry. The answer is still ….”Not now”. And coming from God ( my daddy) that’s his final answer …..for NOW. *wink*

God has shown me time and time again that yes, I have people in my life who will loan me money, give me money, help me out when I need it, give me a ride if I ever need it, if I ever went into the hospital, things would still be taken care of, But he wants to show me that its okay to go through the process and wait on him. He can close all those doors that I have access too, I know that…but he wants me to trust him. Boy, I tell you, there are some days when I say…. okay God take care of that for me, take care of him/her, or I’m going to let you handle that situation. And then I have days when I say… okay God let me carry those 2 bags of bricks????? What’s up with me? LOL That’s why I’m so glad that God understands me and he loves me and he speaks my language. I don’t care who doesn’t get me, or if I ask to many questions, God made me, he loves me , he listens to me, he understands me.

I found this piece on line…….very interesting. Read below.

The Power of God’s Patience. Exercise God’s patience. In Hebrews 10:36 For you have need of patience, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.. What will of God, you may ask? After you have served in faithfulness, after you have received the Word with gladness, after you sought his presence, after you have yielded to his preparation and pruning, then there’s patience. Can I tell you another story? Many times in my Christian walk, God has said wait. I can’t say that I have always understood the why of wait. But I can tell you each time God asked me to wait, after a little time it becomes clear it has been well worth the wait.

For more reading.. http://www.armorbearers.net/blogs/serve-going-through-the-process-to-the-next-level.html

Be Blessed!!

Today, I was at work and I thought about marriage. I don’t know why I don’t think about this subject as much as I use too. Maybe, it because I’m busy and don’t really take the time out to think about myself in this area. Then when I got off, I watched last Sunday’s episode of Bridezillas. Man, the way those women talk to and treat their soon to be husbands, made my blood boil. 

I’m just trying to understand how do you talk to the person you say you love, and want to be with like that? How could you disrespect him in that kinda way? They were hitting, and talking so badly about their soon to be husbands, best friends. Why even be with that person if they’re going to treat them this way? What drives a man to want this kinda woman in their lives? That really puzzles me. I want to be happy, I can’t function or deal with that kind of mess in my life. I like to ask questions and communicate, talk things over, these people really need to talk to a Dr. about their behaviour.

To me, it seems these men have control in other areas of the relationship, and that’s “their” power. Because that’s the only way I can see this balances out. Who wants a woman to talk to them any kinda way, hit them, curse them out and control them?  Thats why you must have God in your relationships. I rather stay single if the man I marry is not a man who loves the Lord, and wants to live for him, obey him, and set an example by walking what he’s talking. Who wants a man who will go to their friends for advice? I want God. Women, learn how to talk to your men!!! Talk to them with respect, if you feel that you’re out of line apologize to them, and make sure you don’t keep going that route.

I see why Neisha’s dad use to stay away from me in our early 20’s. LOL I use to run my mouth and ack a fool about everything. His friends, his job, everything. I wanted to control him and he wasnt havent it. I don’t see how he even dealt with me for as long as he did. That behaviour came from issues that was deep-rooted in me , some people never find out why they act out the way the do, but I’m glad that I did, and I’m so not that person today. Matter of fact, I speak to women about these issues daily. I was talking to a young lady yesterday, about this very same subject. Just walk away if you are stressed and  depressed and it causes all the members in the home to suffer. Thats not fair to the kids, and surely not the relationship.

Women, listen to your men, even if you don’t agree at that time, file it, keep record of the conversation, because if he follows God, you know that came from above. We also must learn to fall back, and shut up sometimes. I know, when I don’t understand something, I’ll ask questions. I don’t feel cursing out, or going off on your husband will fix things. I know I can be hard-headed, but I will get myself somewhere and sit down and think about everything. Women… love your husbands. Treat them with respect. Pray for them. Ask God to come into your relationships, conversations, heart,  your mind daily. Communicate, take trips, do something special for him. Smile, buy a pretty dress, do your lashes, nails brows….smell good (212 Carolina Herrera). *wink*. Take care of your HUSBANDS, SISTERS.

Be Blessed

Hey Good People!

Where do I start? First, I have to Thank God for the Vision to do the Feeding the Homeless Project. So many people have stepped up to help, and this weekend we are going out to the streets of downtown Detroit to pass out sandwiches, pop, water, and chips . At first I was starting to get discouraged because you start to see who people really are when it comes time to helping someone else in need. Im sadden by this persons ways, who is always needing a helping hand, always wanting to borrow or need food, but as a person in position to help, they chose not too. God has always shown me the character of this person, so its nothing new to me, it just bothers me a little. There was a time when I would help this person, and since I am good people with a lot of people, if this person needed anything and I couldnt help them out myself….. I can go to someone else, and they would do the favor FOR THEM, just because I ASKED!!! But…..when it comes down…..La’Crease has to keep it moving. I’m not stopping to hold this persons hand, not to stay on the phone 2-3 minutes, not to go back and forth…. I have a mission to COMPLETE, and it will be done!!! I hate to be bold like that… ( I can be real to the point at times) but this TRAIN IS MOVING!~! If you’re hopping on with us, lets roll, if not ( it’s okay…it truly is) hopefully we’ll see you at the next stop, but for now….This trained has departed!!! 

Lately, I’ve been really busy with several things, my CCSC2 group, my Raisingurls, plus Sistergurls. I know that for years I have wrote in my BLOGS about how much I hate talking on the phone, and for that I really want to say “Lord, I’m sorry. I have come to realize that this is apart of the calling….Communication. In order to do what I do, I have to answer my cell phone, TEXTS, house phone, door, and visit people. This is really hard for me, only because I didn’t know how to put the important things in the important files of my life. I enjoy talking to people, thats the easy part… Im very gifted in that area, but….there is a time for everything, and since I’m apart of many lives, I have to be able to talk to them when the need arrives. There is no button to turn off from people needing me or ME NEEDING them. I have surrendered to the fact that this is my life, and this is what I do. When I’m out in public, I know that I may see someone I know, it never fails, ( my family can’t stand going out with me sometimes, they say I gotta talk to everybody I see LOL), and so now I prepare myself  for it, that way I won’t cut them short, and run out of patience.  I have to be available to talk with them. My cellphone rings early EVERY MORNING, with someone wanting advice, or just to leave me a message. I get text messages all through the day, and you know its okay. Right now I have a billion voice mails, so many un answered text messages, and inbox full of folks I need to get back with.

 I ran, and ran, and ran, for many years from people who I thought just wanted to “talk my ears off”. I would say to myself dang…….am I ever going to get some time for myself? I never sat and thought maybe people look up to me, maybe they need someone to talk with and found me easy to understand. I have to understand God has chosen me to do this, and it’s not going to stop until he says so. That part I got. I just have to learn to “file” things “PUT THINGS IN ORDER, and to prioritize my time. See, that’s my issue. LOL I can NO longer say…. “I hate talking on the phone”. If I learn to talk, text, work, take care of mom and dad, spend time with My Sisters, My Raisingurls, My Sistergurls, My CCSC2 Family, my friends,  and of course God, I would be fine. But, Lord, I just want to say… I’m sorry and you will never see ” I hate talking on the phone” in my blogs from me again.. This is what I do. People need and want my advice, wisdom, and a friend to talk to, and I’m here. This has always been who I am for as long as I can remember.

 October 15-17 I have rented a Hotel Room at my favorite hotel, and its going to be me and you. No phone calls, no text, JUST ME AND YOU LORD 🙂

 I am so excited about the weight loss of the members in my group CCSC2 ( Cree’s Clothes Size Challenge 2). We have all lost so much weight since the group started last month. I lost a total of 13 pounds so far!!!! I’m so happy, we have a very active group and there are some people who really knows how to eat healthy, and some folks who work out like CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY!!!! Some have lots 12 pounds 10 pounds, even more…… way more. I told them there is no way a person can sit here, and not get in on all this advice, motivation and encouragement in this private group of folks. It’s all over the place, and they just don’t know home much they inspire me.I’m very excited about this whole level in my life. Every week we have what Val call “Sacrifice Wednesday”, where we stop eating or doing what hinders us. My issue is Pepsi. I love pop. There are some doing meat, bread, even cigarettes. I just LOVE GOD… for this challenge. Im excited, because I want to buy myself this BADDDD BLACK DRESS ( nothing revealing) to wear with some nice heels, my lashes, brows and nails done. Baaaaaaaaaaaby ( in my Monique voice), yall betta call the police on thatgurltheycallCree!!! LOL The Vision is Real!!!

Anyway….. I am one of the 2 people who is on the planning committee for our family gatherings. And I really need to choose some people to help out and come up with ideas…..there are a WHOLE LOT OF US…  My cousin ( bless his heart) chose me to help, and he is M.I.A! LOL Imma get him…anyway I am going to have others to help me, with so many things that I’m doing and want to do, I don’t want to short change them in any way. But we are going on the Detroit Princess Cruise Sep 17, we all are really looking forward to that.

 Well… Im closing for now, gotta regroup right quick before work tomorrow. Be Blessed Family 🙂

<~~~ Angela Armstrong ..So, I was going through some old emails from Am I My Sister’s Keeper and I found some very interesting emails. I was very active in the group and learned so many things from our Leader Angela and her co-heart Vanessa. Looking back, there are so many things I wish I could have “got”, but I just wasnt getting it. It was going into my mind and into my “mental files” but I wasnt connecting with the fact of me leading anything.

 I grew up a loner, always to myself, always in my room for a punishment, always getting in trouble for my mouth and attitude.  When I got to High School, I had one friend I was cool with others, but I had one friend, and when her mom moved back to Baltimore, she went too. I was devastated and didn’t have a friend in the world, so I started skipping and eventually I dropped out. I took my GED in 94 and looking back on all of that, I never thought my life would be so Blessed.

When I joined AIMSK, my life started to change, I wanted to know more about God, and I was getting that in this group. When I really sit and think about it, God wanted this to go through my mind, and he knew one day I would get it. LOL Thats funny, cause most times I thought I did…. I didn’t. There were times when I was told to do reports, or to write…I didn’t because I didn’t think I could do it. So, I started slacking and she would come down on us. I look back on that and remember feeling like “No she didn’t”. but she was only doing it for our good. She loved us and she knew that we were destined to be great!!! She knew it, well I didnt get it, and so now I’m here wondering how did I get to this place, knowing that it’s just the beginning. I’m not going to look down like Peter did, I’m just going to keep my head up and watch God move on my behalf. Here is a few emails I found……and she was NOT happy with me…and the group members.

I’ve spoken. I’m finished with this. Whether one person or three person
didn’t do the job, we’re all considered a GROUP! A TEAM! And if one person
fails, THE WHOLE TEAM FAILS.

I’M FINSHED WITH THIS. THE BALL WAS DROPPED! UNTIL THERE IS A CHECK FOR
$1,100.00 BUCKS IN THE AIMSK P.O BOX …..I’M
FINSHED WITH THIS CONVERSATION.

ONE PERSON FAIL

 I spent time with my Raisingurls Sunday afternoon, they wanted to come over and do lessons versus going out to a movie. So, I picked them up , we did lessons talked about EVERYTHING. They are so funny. But we did come across an issue that is very serious, and that’s selfishness. I have 2 cousins in the group, one is selfish and the other is always offering to buy when the other doesn’t have money, but when the cousin who is selfish has money, she wont offer the other cousin anything. And that really hurt her feelings. I felt bad, because the cousin who is selfish said to her cousin” well, you offer to buy me something on your own, I didn’t ask you”. So, since her cousin offered, she feels that’s the difference. She wasnt getting the fact that her cousin don’t  want to see her  go without, all she kept saying was ” she don’t have to offer me anything”. Wow, after so many minutes of talking with her, I made her realize that her cousin loves her, and that she has her back at all times. If she doesn’t straighten up, she’s going to lose her cousin trust, and friendship as they get older. It shouldnt be that way at all. The hurt in the cousins eyes was evident.

After wards, we watched Big Momma’s House~ Like Father like Son. We all were sitting there nodding off, so about 7ish 8 I took them home, then today I get a text at work from them saying, they wanted to hang out with me today. LOL I love those gurls, they crack me up. We read a story in the Bible about the Tower of Babel and how God changed the language of the people. They were really amazed at how interesting the story was, and the reason for me doing the stories of the bible is to show them that there are so many interesting stories in the Bible. I remember reading the bible at a young age, and didnt like it because I felt the words were to big, and that the stories were boring. So, we had a good time.

Now, I have to come up with dates for my group CCSC2 “Cree’s Clothes Size Challenge 2”. I have 26 members, many live out of town…… I made the group private and was expecting only 10 people. The less my circle is, the better to spend more time with them. But it worked out so well, we have 2 guys in the group who are NO JOKE!! We really need that. So things are good. For the Detroit people we are going to a Salad Buffet, and I think Im going to plan it the same day as we Feed the Homeless 8/21/11, afterwards we can eat and be together. Then I have to plan our Family Gathering for Sep 17 on the Detroit Princess.  I love planning and taking photos. My friends tell me that I don’t do any work for the gatherings, all I do it take photos of them doing the work. LOL Once the food is carefully planned, cooked and ready to be packed and served, my job is done. LOL ( getting sleepy) Plus she’s a excellent packer. LOL

 Thank you Lord, I’m on my way to bed, can’t wait till my secret retreat with you in October. Well needed. Prepare me to be alone with you Lord. Just You and I!!

La’Crease

Its 5:30 in the morning. And here I am up…. finishing crying.  A much-needed cry( a good thang). Sometimes I act so tough, and like everything is going so well, that I really don’t take the time out to see what’s going on in my mind/my own world. I hear everything, and I understand.

 I listened to Donnie, and a few other songs tonight, and I feel so much better. I don’t know where this tough side of me come from, but I broke down tonight. When I think about  this Testimony it makes me laugh. For now I can’t see the end, its like never-ending thoughts that drives me crazy. I come to the conclusion that I am in my own way. La’Crease is in her own way, and I’ll do good for months and months, then I break down because I can’t see the end. I try to hurry God, and you know whats even spooky? I can see Sarah in myself, trying to do something ( not even on purpose for me) ahead of God. And he knows it. Tonight, I really took a good look at my life and realized how good God has been to me, and still I rush him. I get inpatient and my friend sees this in me and it drives me crazy ( that he knows it). I can say I’m good, but really when I’m alone, I cry. Sometimes, I sit and Thank God, no one can see my thoughts which work over time~ ALL THE TIME, My mind is like movies that play 24 hours, and I’m the camera gurl. LOL Like are you serious? When does this mind shut down of mines? LOL LOL

  My Raisingurls are coming over tomorrow. We have lessons…. I asked these gurls do they want to go see a movie afterwards and they said No…. they want to get goodies from the store and watch a movie at my house????? I’m like BET!!! OKAY! Nesha was like “Ma’ what is it about you that makes them chose to be here than go to the movies”? I dunno. LOL Oh well, they blew my cellphone up texting, they do want to go see Final Destination I DO TOO. So, I’m taking them to see that when it comes out. I love my gurls.

 I sit here and smile right now, because my lashes are off on one eye. LOL  I know that in my meantime, I have things to do and to be completed. Maybe that’s another thing that overwhelms me….so many projects I’m into. My calendar is filled to the brim. I had planned to take Friday-Monday off to stay at the hotel that’s a ways from me to spend with God in September, but Creflo Dollar is coming to Detroit and WE are there. MY momma and I love Creflo, and when I move to Atlanta that is the Church home I will attend. I was there last year and LOVED IT. So, I’m going to book my room for Oct, can’t wait for that, with my mom having surgery on her feet, Oct is better for me, so it all worked out for good.

Here is something I found, that stop all my tears tonight. I know it was God who lead me to it, because this spoke to me loud and clear.  “You are chosen and God is preparing you for what is about to come your way. Hold on a little while longer, your blessing is just beyond the veil. Make it through your situation, don’t give up. If you have put that much time into going through it, go on a little farther so you can see what you were being prepared for”. ~Unknown~